Seven Golden Rules

for the Birds

by Nic Samojluk

Here are some golden rules for the birds. Now, if your body is not covered with feathers, and if you can't fly, then stop. Do not read any further, because this if for the birds.

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Rule Number One: If you don't have a nest, by all means build one!

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Rule Number Two: If you have a nest, give thanks to God and keep it clean. Do not mess your own nest!

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Rule Number Three: Do not foul the nests of other birds. Their nest is as precious to them as yours is to you. You can't build a nest overnight. It takes patience, effort, and perseverance.

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Rule Number Four: If another bird fouls your nest, clean it if you can, or build a new one, but do not destroy the nest of the perpetrator. Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.

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Rule Number Five: Do not ask God for retribution. The Lord may decide to forgive, and then you will look like an egotist fool.

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Rule Number Six: If you are a bird, then sing! Sing in the morning, sing at midday, and sing in the evening. Sing when you are happy; sing when you are sad. Sing when you are hungry; sing when you are full. Sing when you are young, and sing when you get old. Life is short, and before you realize it, you won't be able to sing anymore!

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And, above all, praise the Lord, who takes the trouble to feed the birds, and who gives them strength and wisdom to build their nests and feed their young.

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Now, if you are not a bird, and you have taken the time to read these seven golden rules for the birds against my advice, then by all means, look at the birds and be wise; and don't forget to also feed the birds, since they were created for your enjoyment!

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