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What do these high-poverty cities  all

have in common?

Submitted by Wyjoz 

Buffalo, NY (2nd) hasn't elected one since 1954;

Detroit, MI (1st on the poverty rate list) hasn't elected a Republican mayor since 1961;

Cincinnati,  OH (3rd)...not since 1984;

Cleveland,  OH (4th)...not since 1989;

Miami,  FL (5th) has never had a Republican mayor;

St. Louis,  MO (6th)....not since 1949;

El Paso,  TX (7th) has never had a Republican mayor;

Milwaukee,  WI (8th)...not since 1908;

Philadelphia,  PA (9th)...not since 1952;

Newark,  NJ (10th)...not since 1907.

Einstein once said: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

It is the disadvantaged who habitually elect Democrats --- yet they are still disadvantaged.

---

The BUZZARD, THE BAT

AND THE BUMBLEBEE

THE BUZZARD:

If you put a buzzard in a pen that is <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 />6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

THE BAT:

The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt , painfully, until it reaches some slig ht elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

THE BUMBLEBEE:

A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is tak en out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.

PEOPLE:                                                  In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up!

Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, but faith looks up!

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 DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH

It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:  Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water .  

2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute .                      

3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.                                                            

4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours.                                                                                                                                          

5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.                                                                                                                                             
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.                                                                                                                                

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure / control / reduce main diseases                                                                                                                             

1. High Blood Pressure - 30 days                                                                                   

2. Gastric - 10 days                                                                                                                    
3. Diabetes - 30 days                                                                                                                 

4. Constipation - 10 days                                                                                                           
5. Cancer - 180 days                                                                                                                     

6. TB - 90 days
                                                                                                                         
7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards - daily.                                                                                              

This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times. It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active. This makes sense. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating! Nothing to lose, everything to gain. For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food.

It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal. A serious note about heart attacks: Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive. A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
          
[Link provided by Clarita Drachenberg]

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 Credit Card Scam

If you get a call like this you should ask for the number to call them back and then call the number on the back of your card to report it.

This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want.

Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.

One of our employees was called on Wednesday from 'VISA', and I was called on Thursday from 'Master Card'. The scam works like this: Caller: 'This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Yo ur card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona ?'

When you say 'No', the caller continues with, 'Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?' You say 'yes'. The caller continues - 'I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security.' You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. 'Do you need me to read it again?'

-

Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, 'I need to verify you are in possession of your card'. He'll ask you to 'turn your card over and look for some numbers'. There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, 'That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?' After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, 'Don't hesitate to call back if you do, and hangs up.

You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.

Long story - short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, an d by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.

What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a 'Jason Richardson of Master Card' with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening.

Please pass this on to all your family and friends. By informing each other, we   protect each other

[Link provided by clarita Drachenberg].

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How many zeros in a  billion ? 
 

The  next time you hear a politician use the  word 'billion' in a casual manner,  think about whether you want  the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

A  billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency  did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective  in one of it's  releases.

     A.  A billion  seconds ago it was 1959.

     B.  A billion  minutes ago Jesus was alive.

     C.  A billion  hours ago our ancestors were  living in  the Stone Age.

     D.  A billion  days ago no-one walked on the earth. 

     E.  A billion dollars ago was only  8  hours and  20 minutes, at the rate our  government  is  spending it.  

While  this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans  . It's amazing what you can learn with some simple  division.

Louisiana  Senator,

Mary L  andrieu (D) is presently asking  Congress  for  250  BILLION DOLLARS to  rebuild New  Orleans . Interesting number... what does it  mean?

     A.  Well...  if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every  man, woman, and child) you each get  $516,528.

     B.  Or... if  you have one of the 188,251 homes in New  Orleans , your home gets  $1,329,787.

     C.  Or... if  you are a family of four, your family  gets $2,066,012. 

Washington,  D.  C 

<  HELLO!  >

Are all  your calculators broken??

     Accounts  Receivable Tax

     Building  Permit Tax 

     CDL License Tax

     Cigarette Tax 

     Corporate  Income Tax 

     Dog License Tax

     Federal Income Tax

     Federal Unemployment  Tax (FUTA)

     Fishing Lic ense T ax

     Food License Tax

     Fuel Permit  Tax

     Gasoline Tax

     Hunting License Tax

     Inheritance Tax 

     Inventory Tax

     IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)

     IRS  Penalties (tax on top of tax)

     Liquor Tax

     Luxury Tax

     Marriage  License Tax

     Medicare Tax

     Property Tax

     Real Estate Tax 

     Service charge taxes

     Social Security Tax

     Road Usage Tax  (Truckers)

     Sales Taxes

     Recreational Vehicle Tax

     School Tax 

     State Income Tax

     State  Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

     Telephone Federal Excise Tax 

     Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

     Telephone Fe dermal,  State and Local Surcharge Tax

     Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge  Tax

     Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax

     Telephone  State and Local Tax

     Telephone Usage  Charge  Tax 

     Utility Tax

     Vehicle License Registration Tax

     Vehicle Sales Tax 

     Watercraft Registration Tax

     Well Permit Tax

     Workers  Compensation Tax

<  B >

STILL THINK  THIS IS FUNNY?

Not  one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most  prosperous in the world.

We  had absolutely no national debt...

We  had the largest middle class in the world... </  B>

and  Mom stayed home to raise the kids. 

What  happened?

Can you  spell 'politicians!'

And I  still have to press "1" for English. 

I  hope this goes around the  USA  at least  100 times 

What  the heck happened?????

---

 He fed a crowd at a moment's notice

 

My Cajun friend had 3 good arguments that Jesus was a Cajun:

1.  He liked to serve fish to his friends.

2.  He could make his own wine.

3.  He wasn't afraid of water.

My Black friend had 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1.  He called everyone "brother."

2.  He liked Gospel.

3.  He couldn't get a fair trial.

My Italian friend gave his 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1.  He talked with his hands.

2.  He had wine with every meal.

3.  He used olive oil.

My California friend also had 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1.  He had a beard.

2.  He walked around barefoot all the time.

3.  He started a new religion.

My Irish friend then gave his 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1.  He never got married.

2.  He was always telling stories.

3.  He loved green pastures.

But, my women friends have the most compelling evidence that Jesus, though NOT a woman, certainly could relate to women:

1.  He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.

2.  He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.

3.  And, even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work to do.  Amen to that!!

---

 Cancer Update from John Hopkins

1.    Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion.  When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2.   Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3.   When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4.    When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5.    To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
 
6.   Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7.  Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8.  Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size.  However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
 
9.  When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
 
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
 
 CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

A.  Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc. are made with Aspartame and it is harmful.   A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color.
 Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.
 

B.  Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.
 
C.  Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork.  Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
 
D.  A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment.  About 20% can be from cooked food including beans.  Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.  To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
 
E.  Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.  Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12.   Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrefied and leads to more toxic buildup.

13.   Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering.   By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14.  Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15.  Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit . A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a  stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
 
16.  Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment.   Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level.  Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

ALSO REMEMBER!

1.  No plastic containers in micro.
2.  No water bottles in freezer.
3.  No plastic wrap in microwave.
4.  Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. We should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. The combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, use glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So, such things as TV dinners, instant Raman and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. Some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper .  The dioxin problem is one of the reasons. Plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead. 

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The Oliver North-Bin Laden

Connection

Thought you might be interested in this forgotten bit of information........ It was 1987!  At a lecture the other day they were playing an old news video of Lt. Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan Administration. There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree, but what he said was stunning! He was being drilled by a senator; 'Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?' Ollie replied, 'Yes, I did, Sir.' The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, 'Isn't that just a little excessive?' 'No, sir,' continued Ollie. 'No? And why not?' the senator asked. 'Because the lives of my family and I were threatened, sir.' 'Threatened? By whom?' the senator questioned. 'By a terrorist, sir' Ollie answered.
'Terrorist?  What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?' 'His name is Osama bin Laden, sir' Ollie replied. ... Read more? Click here!==> 

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 Christian Woman Mistaken

For a Car Thief

I Have a Dream!

Here is your chance of seeing President Bill Clinton dozing off in full view at a public presidential election event. Just click at the Internet link listed below:

http://byrev.net/2008-01/bill-clinton-sleeping-i-have-a-dream/  

           The Story of Two Panhandlers

Carlos and Jose are panhandlers. They work different areas of the same town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3  dollars  every day. Jose brings home a suitcase full of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in  a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. Carlos says to Jose,

--"I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?".

--"Look at your sign, Carlos! What does it say?" asks Jose.

Carlos sign reads, "I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support."

Jose says, " No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars."

Carlos says, "So what does your sign say?"  

Jose shows Carlos his sign. It reads:  "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico."  

[Item sent by Wyjoz]

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Title Search all the Way to God

Part of rebuilding New Orleans causes residents to often be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership.  Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client that is absolutely priceless.

You've got to love this lawyer, and, it's too good not to share! A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.  He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.  After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.  While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803.   Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

'"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application.  I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application 'For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain.  

The land came into the possession of  Spain by  Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.  The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may  know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana .  God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before  the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. 'I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved!

Touche`

[Story sent by Hugo Schmidt]

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By all Means... MARRY!

• I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette

• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha

• Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi

• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

• Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Dumas

• The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud

• I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous

• "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henny Youngman

• "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." Sam Kinison

• "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." James Holt McGavran

• "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray

• Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash

• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once ... Anonymous

• You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny Youngman

• My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton Berle

• Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. Anonymous

• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." Anonymous

• First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

• At birth: "What a cute baby!" When the baby becomes a teenager: "Who switched the baskets in the hospital nursery?" or "For this I have stretch marks?"

[Submitted by Charles Rasi]

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Welcome To The Republican Party!

 A teen-age girl was about to finish her first year of college.  She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, while her father was a staunch conservative Republican.  One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to programs like welfare.

He stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school.

She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough.  She had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party and often went sleepless because of all the studying.  She didn't have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of her focus on succeeding in her studies.

He then asked how her friend Mary, who was attending the same college, was doing.  She replied that Mary was barely getting by.  She had a 2.0 GPA, never studied, but was very popular on campus and went to parties all the time. She often wouldn't show up for classes because she was hung over.

He then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the dean's office and ask why she couldn't take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend who only had a 2.0.  That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.  The daughter fired back and said, "That wouldn't be fair, I worked really hard for mine and my friend has done nothing."

The father smiled and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."  

Author Unknown

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The Year Was 1907....

 

Show this to your children and grandchildren!

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!

The year is 1907.

One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1907:

*********

The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

*********

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in 1907 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,

A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per

year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

*********

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

*********

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month and used

Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

*********

Five leading causes of death were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza  2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

*********

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." ( Shocking? DUH!)

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !

---

Quotable Quotes

 #29: Baldness. If you are concerned about hair loss, remember that the value of hair is--like real estate, determined by three factors: location, location, and location. 

#28: Marriage ??. It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and women gains her masters. ~Mary Helen

#27: It is better to eat Twinkies with hope than broccoli with despair. ~Unknown

#26: The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending;
and have the two as close together as possible.
~George Burns

#25: Santa Claus has the right idea ...
visit people only once a year.
~Victor Borge

#24: Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
~Mark Twain

#23: What would men be without women?
Scarce, sir ... mighty scarce.
~Mark Twain

#22: By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~Socrates

 #21: I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
~Groucho Marx

 #20: My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe.
~Jimmy Durante

#19: The male is a domestic animal which,
if treated with firmness and kindness,
can be trained to do most things.
~Jilly Cooper

#18: I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor

#17: Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
~Alex Levine

#16: Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing.
It was here first.
~Mark Twain

#15: My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,
people would stop dying.
~Ed Furgol

#14: Money can't buy you happiness,
but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
~Spike Milligan

#13: What's the use of happiness?
It can't buy you money.
~Henny Youngman

#12: Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up'.
~Joe Namath

#11: Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
~Herbert Henry Asquith

#10: I don't feel old.
I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
~Bob Hope

#9: A woman drove me to drink ...
and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.
~W.C. Fields

#8: I never drink water
because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
~W.C. Fields

#7: It takes only one drink to get me drunk.
The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the
fourteenth.
~George Burns

#6: We could certainly slow aging process down
if it had to work its way through Congress.
~Unknown

#5: Don't worry about avoiding temptation...
As you grow older, it will avoid you.
~Unknown

#4: Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty.
But ...
everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
~Unknown

#3: The cardiologist's diet:
If it tastes good ... spit it out.
~Unknown

 #2: By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere.
~Unknown

#1: It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
~Unknown 

 

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Food For Thought 

#16: I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.  

#15: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to    buy a replacement.  

#14: Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

#13: Life is sexually transmitted. #12: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

#11: If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"

#10: Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#9: The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

#8: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

#7: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

#6: Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

#5: Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

#4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

#2: In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1: How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 

  

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How Much Is A Billion?

Our church is sending out one billion invitations for people to study their Bible.
How much is a billion?  Notice the following:

Think about this!

The next time you hear a politician use the words "billion" casually,
think about whether you want that politician spending your tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising
agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of
its releases.

A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.

A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.

A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the
rate Washington spends it.

The Democrats are complaining on how long the war is taking but
consider this:

It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take
the Branch Davidian compound. That was a 51-day operation.

It took less time to find Saddam's sons in Iraq than it took
Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.

It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines
to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Teddy
Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sunk at
Chappaquiddick.

It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in
Florida!

Author Unknown

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